Archive for April, 2009
A Call to Arms! (Actually, a call for votes)
Wednesday, April 29th, 2009Hey all,
In an unapologetic and shameless attempt to win a contest I am calling on all my loyal fans (all three of you) to vote for my short story: “Tax Time.” It’s presently in a battle for first place in the “Tax” contest on www.anotherealm.com.
If you haven’t read it, or if you’ve read it, loved it, but forgot to vote for it, here’s the link: http://anotherealm.org/modules/AMS/article.php?storyid=33.
All you have to do is scroll to the bottom and click on “Rate Article.” (Read the story first but then scroll down.) That will take you to a page where you can rate the story on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m looking for 10’s here, folks. Then click on “Submit Rating.”
That’s it! Walk away. You’ve cast your vote and you’ve helped me to win bragging rights by winning the contest. There’s no money in it but money isn’t everything. Sometimes being told that you’re the “best” is all that matters. (And I know most of the guys out there totally agree with me. Am I right? Huh? Huh? Wink. Wink. Nod. Nod. Say no more. Say no more.)
Oh, you can read the other stories if you want. And you can certainly email me what you think of my story. Good. Bad. Indifferent. I want your input. And your votes!
Peace.
Sha’Daa is Coming!
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
As you’ve all heard I’ll be one of the featured authors in a new anthology called “Sha’Daa Tales of the Apacolypse.” There’ll be a strong push to get the word out there so you will hear more about it. Like this new banner for the anthology. Cool, isn’t it? Best part is that the release date is May 1st but you can already order copies now. Just click on the banner.
Oh, and they have a brief excerpt from my story featured on the page.
For Everyone Frustrated With Their Computers
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009I’ve worked with computers for more years than I care to admit. Didn’t plan on it, just sort of happened. In any case, I’ve dealt with more than my fair share of friends and family who were trying to work with a difficult machine. I guess that’s why I find this video clip so funny. It’s obviously a routine taken off of British television but it is funny and strangely familiar. Hope it gives you a laugh, here it is:
Other people, they’re strange, and that’s the truth.
Thursday, April 16th, 2009“I just read your story and you are one strange fella. I mean that in a good way but, well, you’re strange.”
I get that sometimes.
This time it was my friend Susan who was letting me know that she’d read my story: “A Box Full of Nothing.” (Which can still be read for free at: http://www.anotherealm.com/2007/ar110107.html).
“Your protagonist was so obnoxious I just wanted to smack him.”
I smiled. That’s good cause it meant that, as a writer, I’d done my job – I got her emotionally connected. But how, I wondered, did that make me strange? Well, Susan got distracted and I never did get an answer on that one.
The truth of the matter is that I find that story to be rather mild and tame. So I can only assume that she thought the idea of the story was strange. That would make the person who thought it up (me) a little strange as well.
I get that a lot too.
But in my own defense I tend to think that people in general are strange. As a writer I just write it down. Don’t believe me? Here’s a case in point:
This past weekend I was at a big amusement park. I think you can guess which one. And in this post 9/11 world even a bunch of tourists are required to open their bags in front of security to prove that their only intentions are to spend money and act like kids. No biggie, really, it’s the same wherever you go.
But right behind me were a group of young ladies (16 or 17 years of age) who got rather concerned when they saw the sign that said: “All bags will be checked.”
“Really? I have to open my bag?” The security guard simply pointed at the sign. The girl then handed over a pink, leather, rectangular shoulder bag. It was unusual in that it wasn’t a regular purse. It resembled more like a high-end duffle bag but only smaller – more compact. “This is so embarrassing,” she muttered, and her girlfriends all started to giggle.
The security guard, uncertain what he’d find, opened the bag cautiously. In it was a three-foot tall porcelain doll. Only, this wasn’t your grandmother’s porcelain doll. It was thin, pale white, with platinum hair, and was dressed in black leather Goth clothing. I recognized that it was in the style of Japanese animation so I assumed it was one of the very popular Anime characters the 16 year-olds all seem to love.
The guard took a look at the very realistic face and the cold glass eyes and said: “Whoa, that’s kinda creepy.”
The young lady smiled apologetically and as she took back her bag responded: “Yeah, it must seem like you found a dead body, or something, in my purse.”
BAM! I got a story.
Can you blame me? A pink leather satchel. A creepy human-like doll. A tourist trap filled with happy vacationers. Who couldn’t write a story out of that?
Oddly enough, a friend of mine already has. That’s why I recognized the doll. He describes it in detail in a horror story he wrote called “The Dollfie Murder” for “Strange Mysteries” published by Whortleberry Press (available here: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/strange-mysteries/6413232) . It has all the same elements except for the tourist trap (and since Mike lives in NJ you can’t fault him for that).
So how strange is that? And I didn’t have a thing to do with it. It really happened and it happened to other people. I just saw the potential in it. So, despite what some of you may think – it’s not me. Other people, they’re strange, and that’s the truth.
Sha’Daa Tales of the Apocalypse Got Reviewed
Monday, April 13th, 2009As some of you may have heard, I have a story coming out in a “shared-world” fantasy collection called: “Sha’Daa Tales of the Apocalypse.” I wrote about how the project came together in an earlier post so just take a look for the full background. Well, despite the book’s official release date being 5/1/09, it is available from the publisher right now and it’s been reviewed. The Editor over at Staticmovement.com was kind enough to review the book and has posted her comments. What were they? Well, I won’t spoil the surprise but she did refer to me as a “Master of Fantasy.” Pretty good, huh? Just go over to http://www.staticmovement.com and look for the “Book Review.” It’s at the top of the page.
Just For A Laugh
Thursday, April 9th, 2009I have a pretty good network of people who will send me tons and tons of fun stuff. Well, if I’ve got to get them then so should you. Actually, this is an old one and I always laugh when I get it. I think English Teachers should use this list when teaching grammar, context, sentence structure, and the pitfalls of spell checkers. It’s a perfect example of why everyone can write but not everyone should. Enjoy! Oh, and I make no claims that any of these a real. (But don’t you secretly wish they are?)
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: ‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan:
Last Sunday: ”I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours’
Sha’Daa Tales of the Apocalypse
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
A number of years ago a friend, and fellow writer, by the name of Mike Hanson hatched a crazy idea. He’d thought up this imaginary world in which the demons that haunt our nightmares are about to break through to our world and start the apocalypse. Ok, hold on, that’s not the crazy part. I know it sounds crazy but we’re talking literature here and not Mike’s personal issues. Anyway, the fun part was that Mike sketched out the general idea of the story and then he sketched out around 30 or so individual situations or “chapters.” He then invited a bunch of writers he knew to write entire stories around those situations. What he ended up with is: “Sha’Daa Tales of the Apocalypse,” eleven different stories by eleven different authors. All of the stories follow the same basic premise but each has a wildly different take on the battle against ultimate evil. The book is being released on May 1st by Cyber Wizard Productions.
My personal favorite is, of course, my story: The Way of the Warrior. In which a lowly monk must save humanity by using the only fighting skills he’s ever mastered – those learned in a video game. What happens? Read the book. 
Now here’s the cool part. The book has a YouTube presentation. That’s right, we got our own video. Ok, it’s more of a slide show but it’s cool. Check it out here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY9ThN595dk
Also what’s cool is the fact that you can already buy the book from Cyber Wizards. The official release date is 5.1.09 but you can buy it now here:
http://www.cyberwizardproductions.com/altered/shadaa.html
You will be hearing more on this collection as the publisher, the editors, and the authors will all be involved in a major push to get it noticed. All I can say is this should be fun.
Once More Into The Breach
Monday, April 6th, 2009As some of you may recall I’ve tried writing a Blog before and gave it up several times. I’m not sure if it was because I just ran out of interesting things to say or I felt embarrassed to think of myself as witty enough, or smart enough, or delusional enough to need a public forum to speak to the world.
Well, I’ve been trying to update my web presence and have come to conclude that I DO need a blog. Not so much cause the world needs to hear what I have to say but because I need a way to spread the word. And by the word, I mean announcements about my writing, really cool YouTube videos I think people would enjoy, great new music I’ve discovered, thoughts I have on the state of our country, our world, and our society. There are days that I just want to stand up and yell at the world. And since I’m pretty sure my neighbors would rather I didn’t – a blog seems like a less annoying way to go.
So, here we go again. I’ll try to keep it entertaining. I’ll try to keep it updated on a regular basis. I’ll try to keep my rants to a minimum but you should expect to see them once in a while. I’ll try, really try, to make it worth your while.
To quote the bard: “Once more, into the breach!”
(For those of you who don’t know Shakespeare, that’s: “Here we go again!”)
